How many of you are aware that a relationship always begins with you? The first and most important relationship you have is with yourself. If you give up this very basic relationship, you are not being real or authentic. If you are vulnerable enough to be your true self and embrace your authenticity, you can create a kind, caring, nurturing, joyful and expansive relationship, beyond what you could ever imagine is possible!
The most important aspect of being vulnerable in relationships, in my opinion, is to be true to yourself and never give up your uniqueness, your difference, quirkiness, weirdness and originality that defines YOU. Most people are used to cutting away parts and pieces of themselves in order to create or maintain an intimate relationship with another person. You may give up your points of views, likes, interests, hobbies and things that give you joy because your partner doesn’t approve of it or they don’t share the same interests as you. For example, you love traveling but instead, you spend time with your partner to show him/her that you really love them. It’s like saying “I love and care for you so much that I am willing to give up that which gives me joy and is most valuable for me”. That’s giving up yourself, your authenticity. Is that really love and care? Can you be happy without being true to yourself? It usually tends to build up discontentment and resentment in the long run. If you are not happy with yourself, would your partner be happy and joyful in the relationship? Can your relationship ever become greater and stronger when you diminish and devalue yourself?
When you are willing to be vulnerable, you are comfortable in your own skin, in embracing your difference, your likes and dislikes and you don’t have to alter it or give it up in order to be with somebody. You don’t divide yourself into parts and pieces. You are whole. You are complete. You have your individuality that you are proud of and you don’t judge you.
Vulnerability gives you the strength to be and show your real raw self to your partner without having to pretend to be someone you are not, so that your partner likes you. You don’t wear a mask or create a façade. You are willing to show your strengths and weaknesses without the fear of being judged, because you believe in yourself and trust your worthiness and know your strengths. Which is why the key to a healthy, joyful and successful relationship begins with having a healthy, joyful relationship with you first, trusting your worthiness and having self-love. Living authentically means, you are happy with who you are and the way you are.
Being authentic is about being genuine and honest. If you are not being your real, raw self and pretending to be something you are not, then your partner is connecting with someone fake and not “you”. Can this relationship be genuine at all? If you are giving up your core essence and “you” no longer exist in a relationship, how can you create a joyful communion with others? Is that a possibility?
What do you do when you are being vulnerable and authentic and your partner cannot receive you? If a relationship requires you to change and give up yourself in order to be in it, then that’s not the right relationship for you! You choose someone different, in whose presence you can be your true self. It’s like trying to fit inside a car that is way too small for you. Instead of realizing that the car is not right for you and you can buy a bigger car that fits better, you choose to cut off your hands and legs in order to fit inside the small car that you have “decided” is the right and only option for you!
Vulnerability and authenticity not only creates phenomenal, joyful, extraordinary and incredible relationships with others but it also strengthens the relationship you have with yourself. It is a journey that takes you inwards, to depths that you never accessed before, leading you to your incredible self!